Confessions of a Shopaholic: What Is It All For?

confessionsThis has got to be one of the rarest occasions I’ve had in a while…..a day off. Thanks to some much-needed sleep I am ready to type away and bring more deals and spills of my crazy life. I woke up and realized that I had my necklace and earrings from yesterday spewed all over my bed. After ruffling through the covers and finding everything, I thought I really do dream fashion. I stared at my dirty room from endless work days that needed cleaning and decided on a sex and the city marathon and online shopping instead. Now I realize that I shop a lot more than most people…okay maybe more than 90% but that’s as far as I’ll admit. I’m still in the twelve step program. But this was the one thing I promised myself when I was sixteen, it was that I would always treat myself as long as I worked. See what some people don’t know about me is that since I was sixteen I have always had two jobs. The only time I have ever had one job was when I was fifteen and a half and just starting my first job. It seems that after that it was full speed ahead, I juggled high school and two jobs, then college and two jobs and now bills, student loans, credit cards and two jobs. But my promise to myself has still survived through all of this. You don’t have to max out your credit cards or decide between eating and that pair of shoes that you want. You just have to be determined.

We want things, there’s nothing wrong with that. But don’t forget your responsibilities. I haven’t always did it right but when I did it wrong I paid for it. Literally. I don’t know what your promise is to yourself or why you work hard day-to-day, but it has to be worth it to struggle from lack of sleep and too many work hours. If you’re not sane and functioning than you can’t expect to get anything done. If that takes you going out and getting a pedi or trying out that new restaurant with your girls or seeing that new movie all by yourself, then do it. This isn’t about being around others or trying to find something you all agree on, it’s about you. I made that promise to myself when I was sixteen because it was during a time that I worked to help someone close to me. I wanted to play volleyball, I wanted to go to prom, I wanted a lot of things and never did or got it. I had to learn to be selfish and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. If you ever find yourself ever being left out with nothing after constantly giving almost everything for everyone else then my friend you are not selfish enough. You will find it easier to help others once YOU are taken care of.

So back to my promise. What exactly has it done for me? Besides made me a non stop workaholic who is now a shopaholic. It has made me look out for myself. I sometimes go weeks without a day off due to my two jobs, but you would never know it. My promise to myself has made me never want for anything. Don’t get so wrapped up in life that you forget about yourself. I get my nails done every two weeks, even if I’m running from work before the place closes. I subscribe to shoedazzle.com and justfab.com which causes the constant packages to my house and everything else in between comes from me further rewarding myself. Hey if you don’t love yourself then who will? Now my friend remember do not dig yourself into a hole that even a rescue team couldn’t save you from. I had to learn the hard way that it can become an addiction if done for all the wrong reasons. In the beginning it was just simply me not liking who I was. I didn’t have a lot growing up but my mom made sure my siblings and I had everything we needed and everything else we just couldn’t afford. I bought things hoping it would make up for everything I didn’t have and wanting it to change who I was. Of course non of that worked. Now its a reward, if I don’t have my bills paid and I have other obligations that I haven’t handled first then I don’t get it. You will be surprised how much overtime I have put in just to make sure I can see Bruno Mars in Vegas in May. The moral of the story here is you can’t forget about you! I can only tell you from personal experience that if you take a little bit of time out for yourself it will make all the difference on all your endeavors. Seeing your hard work pay off is great…seeing your hard work pay off while keeping your sanity is even better. Now if you don’t mind I have a day off to enjoy.

Sincerely Elle

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