Elle’s Diary: Mini Life Crisis

I am far too young to be going thru a mid-life crisis but that doesn’t mean that I can’t go through a crisis at all. When you hit a snag in your fabulousness that means that everything isn’t working. High stress from everyday life was a big contributor to mine. Career demands, school demands, family, friends, bills, etc, the list can go on forever. But the more you have on your plate can really take away from your fabulousness. I might be making up the word but it didn’t do an auto correct so I am sticking with it. I mean let’s admit it when we don’t feel our best or look our best that’s a huge knock on our self-esteem or what I like to call our fabulousness. So what comes with a mini life crisis? Well usually big purchases like a Lamborghini and drastic make overs, such as butt implants. Unfortunately the way my bank account is set up (in my Kevin Hart voice)…..I did purchase a car but it wasn’t a sports car it was a Volkswagen and its great on gas. I also didn’t get the butt implants; I chose instead to cut my hair and even saved money by doing it myself in the comfort of my bathroom that was covered in hair afterwards. Again these things happen due to many things going on in our lives and for me it was a number of factors and a number of solutions:

I was afraid to fail: I bought a car finally after facing my fear of never deserving it. I originally had some career issues, which was completely normal for a recent college graduate in this economy, and after getting a great promotion I decided it was time to let go and take that leap. The thing was I was so afraid and just doubted myself that I could have had a vehicle in college. I am actually very good at money management and setting budgets for myself but people always assume that I’m not since I shop a lot. In actuality I shop as much as I do because I budget almost everything, even down to a budget for impulse buys.

My stress was showing on my hair: Everything in our system can be affected by our stress. The bags under your eyes expose your lack of sleep, thin nails can show your poor diet and your messy hair can definitely show that, like your hair, your life is a mess. I have put a relaxer in my hair and cut off half of it. As tough as the decision was I just got to a point where I couldn’t do anything with it. I love healthy hair but I think long hair is highly over rated, in my case. I had long thick hair that I had grown down my back though my natural hair journey but it was becoming too much. I couldn’t take care of it and I didn’t have time. I was barely eating and eating terrible when I did. Once your hair is damaged and fried there’s not much to do that can save it other than start over… So that’s what I did. Snip. Snip.

I am absolutely consumed by my room: I was so good at keeping my room immaculate in college that I could not believe how messy I allowed it to get. Every day I was slowly but surely leaving less room for myself to sleep in my room due to the mess I had made. It was just the other day that I have a little time to come in and straighten up. I still need to do a major sweep through, such as tossing out old clothes, donating stuff I haven’t used and just make a clean space. I don’t know about you but I relax a lot more when I come home to a clean house. We cannot expect to go through a hectic day then come home to chaos. Even when I start to make a mess while getting ready I put everything back. As unmotivated as I was I managed to find the floor again.

I am Being Mary Jane: Unfortunately I realized that I relate to that TV series all too well. For anyone that doesn’t know about the show, it is a BET network drama series that is set around a career driven, mid-thirties woman whose personal life isn’t as glamorous as her segments on her television show. So am I career driven to the point where I sacrifice having a personal life? Yes. Do I struggle with family issues? Yes. Is my love life nonexistent? Yes. Would I choose my career over having a love life? Yes. So you get the point of the show and of my life. I find myself sacrificing a lot more now than I have…well…ever. The stress comes from sometimes doubting my decisions and wondering if I am missing out on anything while on my journey.

I guess if life was easy it wouldn’t be life. I don’t know if you have ever played the game of life but its takes a long time and a lot of obstacles before you get to retirement manor. My game of life comes with a lot of red signs, advancements and setbacks but eventually I will get to the end and tally up everything and sit back in my rocking chair in retirement manor, less stressed and shorter hair. Hey I might even get that sports car.

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