The Laws of Detachment: Why Losing Friendships Along The Way Is Okay

Have you ever had those times where you just randomly think about people who you were friends with and wonder what they are up  and what was it that made you guys lose touch? There are a lot of different reasons and I think  the common denominator comes down to….Life happened.  Whether it was a good or bad ending these lost friendships remind you of the journey you are on in fixing yourself.

Growing up my family moved a lot and I went to different schools from the time I started to the time I graduated high school. I would get close to someone then we would move.  And this was before Myspace, so keeping in touch was basically non existent.What I do appreciate about this aspect of my life though is that I had to learn to value friendships. I wasn’t a good friend because I didn’t know how to be one. Since there was that constant uprooting and transferring schools I think I lacked that compassion for others because the only constant people around were family. I was involuntarily losing these friendships in a way and when they all ended, these were times for me to reflect on the friendships and how I needed to improve.

I remember one girl in particular who I fell out with in college and how that loss was for the better. She was one of my roommates and this friendship ended badly to where we had an all out brawl with one another (Yeah I know, not lady like at all), and of course it was over a boy. But the thing was the argument didn’t start over a boy but when everything was said and done she had finally said everything that have been bothering her about our friendship. She had been harboring ill feelings about me and I had kind of played into it not knowing was the real problem was. I came to terms with that friendship never working out because she had her internal struggles going on and so did I. I wasn’t at a point to be a good friend to her when I had issues to fix as well.

End the end, its okay to lose friendships along the way because you first have to learn to be a good friend. Everyone has things going on and plans and goals, and sometimes other people might not fit into that chaos. But then there are the ones that do. My closest friends now are the women I met while in college. These are the ladies who I didn’t necessarily have a lot in common with but we all brought something to the friendship that balanced us out. We have good conversations due to our different views, beliefs and backgrounds. We had to grow to appreciate one another and learn that we would always be different. As I am getting older I am realizing that quality over quantity applies to quite a bit if scenarios in life, friendships included.

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